Sling him in the long boat till he's sober,
Keep him there and make 'im bale 'er.
Pull out the plug and wet him all over,
Take 'im and shake 'im, try an' wake 'im.
Trice him up in a runnin' bowline.
Give 'im a taste of the bosun's rope-end.
Give 'im a dose of salt and water.
Stick on 'is back a mustard plaster.
Shave his belly with a rusty razor.
Send him up the crow's nest till he falls down,
Tie him to the taffrail when she's yardarm under,
Put him in the scuppers with a hose-pipe on him.
Soak 'im in oil till he sprouts flippers.
Put him in the guard room till he's sober.
Put him in bed with the captain's daughter.
Take the Baby and call it Bo'sun.
Turn him over and drive him windward.
Put him in the scuffs until the horse bites on him.
Heave him by the leg and with a rung console him.
That's what we'll do with the drunken sailor.